Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Grow~My birthday month and the best i've known

Last month I felt on the verge; the weather blending in and out of cold. dreary days and weary spirit.
I sit here today and school suddenly started again and was delayed by snow, and it seems I can't get on top of anything, lastly writing here; though i enjoy it, even if for myself- i feel connected in a sense. And yet, I feel as if I am sitting next to a pile of thoughts and dreams because lately I have been trying, consciously, to shift perspective-not exactly knowing of how to take these dreams and thoughts on, or even the slightest of ways to make them happen. I guess sometimes they just do. I am daily making changes in how I take care of myself, and my family-mentally, physically-the whole. It's not that I haven't to this point, but just in a different way.

Digging more into peace and family connectedness. Holding tight to the moments even as they detach from my grip. Coming to resolution about where I must take my mind so I can become this teacher I am, somewhere deep within and still, yet to be introduced. At the beginning of everything rather than laden in dream-This feels lovely and shaky in my moments, but I trust- I always do. Life happens how we need it, especially when we live with intent and most definitely love. In love with the infancy of new direction carved out of the old roots of growth. I've learned a lot this past ten years- ten years- what a long and short time. I look at 22 and smile through tears at the then unknown journey. Some things heart-breaking and breathless, and even more pure magic. Nowthis month-32-and I smile at knowing myself better than ever, even though I am scared-it's OK. It's the best I've known. So to think of that and what may come I cannot feel but blessed and all about letting in the joy.

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